"One for the books....."

Oh my, my, my.  While Ellison dear has a repertoire of hilarious things she has said (and unfortunately, not many of them have actually been written down), but this one I had to write down for years to come!
On her first morning of preschool, I was filling out her little K3 questionnaire that her teacher had given us and it had various questions for her to answer - favorite color, favorite food, favorite thing to do with family etc.....   The last question was, "what is your favorite toy".  When I asked her, she immediately said, "my little kitchen", which she does play with the majority of the day. After she said it, she paused and had a "lightbulb moment" and said, "mommy, kitchen rhymes with bitchin'!  I like to play with my little bitchin' kitchen"!!

So innocent, but so hilarious!

"Still grieving....."

3 years post Elliot's homegoing, I wasn't anticipating having to answer questions from my baby girl about her Aunt. "Aunt Elliot" has been a part of Ellison's vocabulary since her birth, but I guess I just didn't think the questions would come, or that she would also have to experience her own grief because she was so young.  I am not sure why I didn't think about this before now. Perhaps it's because I am finally beginning to think with any sense of clarity. What I am discovering is that Ellison's grief is completely different from the rest of ours. We are grieving what we knew and lost. Ellison is grieving what never was for her, she is grieving what she never knew, and that is a huge loss for this little girl. 

Last night, as I was lying in bed with her, she began talking about Aunt Elliot out of the blue. To my knowledge, there had been no prior conversations with her recently. She started singing (to the tune of "God is so good"), "I love Aunt Elliot, I love Aunt Elliot, I love Aunt Elliot, but I don't love that she is in Heaven".  She then proceeded to ask me point blank, why she was in Heaven? Why would God take her there away from her family? Why did she have to go away? She then asked me again, point blank, what happened?  She continued with questions, and then became more agitated saying, "I want to see her. It's not right that I never got to see her (she was only 4 months old when Elliot went Home), I want to see her Mommy".  I answered her questions to the best of my ability, all the while feeling her pain, anguish, and anger over the entire thing, and I too wanted to start demanding to see her. We kept talking for alittle while, and I hoped my answers were satisfying to her and truthful - as truthful to a 3 year old as I can be.  She settled down and then said, "well, God told me I will see her and that He will take me there when I am about 80 or 90".  

And the journey continues......., God give us grace. 

"1st Grade, August 10, 2015"!

I could write a novel here, about the past 6 years leading up to this day in time and history. Bringing home this little bundle of joy (no pun intended!), having him home with me every day for 6 years, minus a couple of days of preschool between ages 4-6, and now watching him take on the face and characteristics of a young man, is all at once startling and remarkable satisfying. Elijah is ready for this step, more than ready actually. It is probably more his momma that wasn't ready, but in a strange way, really I was. I know I have a job to do, and that is not to keep him under my wings forever and shelter him from the forces of the wind and the world, but to train this young man to fly with a far better pilot beside him than me - his Heavenly Father. Yes, I would love more than anything in this world to protect him from all harm, all evil, and all hurt, but I know my limitations....., but with Christ, there are no limitations to His superior ability to love and protect my sweet son - and to catch him when he falls, which he will.  But, learning what to do when he does fall is more important.  So, with these things in mind, and with a enormous lump in my throat, I sent him off into the world. Elijah's compassion for people, empathy for others' pain, his quiet servant leadership ability, and his conscientious spirit, will carry him far in this life. I sense the Holy Spirit already at work in this little boy's heart, and my prayer is that Elijah will grow a discerning ear to be able to know the difference in the many voices which will be shouting his name. I am praying he will be able to stand confidently in his convictions, and that he will have the confidence to follow the Spirit's quiet and gentle voice, and not the other voices which will be booming in his head as he grows. The loudest voice is not always the strongest. I pray he will come to know and believe that truth.

I could not be more humbled, more honored, and more proud to be the mother of this fine young man. To God be all the glory for this child, Elijah, whose name means, "The Lord is my God". May he grow to know and believe these words, may they shape his identity, and may they be his rock and his refuge in this life.

I have to note, that while driving to school on the 1st day, he lost a tooth!! We were sitting at a red light and he said, "it's out, it's out, it's out, I lost it"!  I turned around, and sure enough there was a tooth in his hand.  Thank you Jesus for this sweet little diversion of 1st day nerves!  He was all smiles walking in :) 

"Wedding pictures"....

Some of our dear friends were married just a few weeks ago. Jay officiated the wedding, and our family enjoyed being a part of this wonderful weekend. The wedding was outdoors in a glorious setting. They thought of everything they could to make guests comfortable at a 12:00 wedding, outside, in July, in Alabama!!!  We had fans, umbrellas, and ice water to drink as we listened to the exchanging of vows. I took a few pictures of the kids beforehand, but Elijah was so hot he only made it in about 3 pictures. He wanted nothing more to do with pictures in the heat!  I felt the same way! Now Ellison on the other hand, was in her element and was enjoying the camera. She "turned into Ariel" the mermaid and took her place on a rock!

Love this!  Alittle too bright for Ellison :)