Since the previous post was so heavy, I thought I would make note of the conversation tonight while driving home from church.
Mommy: What did you talk about tonight in Mrs. Beth's class?
EB: Jonah!
Mommy: Was Jonah in the belly of a zebra?
EB: NOOOOO Mommy!
Mommy: Was Jonah in the belly of a horse?
EB: NOOOOO Mommy!
Mommy: Was Jonah in the belly of a rabbit?
EB: NOOOOO silly Mommy! A fish!
EB: (singing), "Godder fadder, we tank yoo"....., he pauses
EB: Mommy, who's Godder"?
Mommy: Baby, it's God Our.....
EB: Where's God?
Mommy: God is in Heaven
EB: Where's JE-HAHS?
Mommy: Well, Jesus is in Heaven too and also in Mommy's heart
EB: I want to go to Heaven (pause), maybe one day (pause), when I get older
Mommy: Well sweetie, you will go to Heaven whenever God says it's time to go to Heaven
EB: I will obey God!!!
Bless his sweet little heart! He hears "when mommy tells you to do something, you obey" at least 50 times a day. So, when God tells him it's time to go to heaven, and he obeys - is correct!
What a fabulous conversation!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
"The road ahead......"
I feel the title of this blog post is most appropriate - especially the "......." part. The truth is, I have no way of knowing what lies on the other side of this new journey that my family is about to embark on. I have been trying to write this post for months, but haven't been able to adequately express what is in my heart. And truthfully, God has and is continuing to weed out some specific sins in my heart and I just needed some time before starting this post. I am going to try to be as honest as I can, without airing all "dirty laundry" on a public blog! Before I write further, I just have to say how thankful I am for Jesus - for without Him, surely I would drown in my own sin.
Next Tuesday evening, and for the following 10 Tuesday evenings, Jay and I will leave Elijah Brooks behind to receive our training through DHR in order to become foster parents. We have felt called by the Lord for many years to take this step, but shamefully I say, "the time was just never right". I cringe even now reading those words, and yes, part of the sin that God is slowly breaking me of is the sin of self. When I think of all of the reasons why God surely must have made a mistake calling me to this ministry, every one of my reasons starts with "ME" or "I". I have been very convicted over the past several months that it is simply not about me. It is not about my desires, my comfort, my security, my wisdom (or lack thereof), my ability to love a child (or not), my stability, or any of the other hundred words I could fill in that blank. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. On my own, I am 100% ill-equipped, ill-prepared, and inadequate to do this. This is huge - and so much bigger than me. Someone asked me recently, "how can you do this? Because if the Lord called me, I sure would run the other way". This person is a Christian and a dear friend, but I fear this is becoming more of a common response than not. Somewhere along the way, the Church has dropped the ball. The Church is supposed to be caring for and loving the orphan, and I don't mean just handing them money from the offering plate and sending them on their way. The word "orphan" means, "a child whose parents are dead". If a child is being neglected in the home, abused, food withheld, clothes withheld, love withheld - what is the difference that the parents are not literally dead? This neglected child has no parents. The emotional and physical scars these kids carry are deeper than I will ever understand. Unfortunately, kids in the foster care system often get overlooked. The Church has turned over our God-given duty, and privilege, to the State. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to the State for taking up the slack where the Church has failed. But, it's OUR job to take care of these children. It's OUR job, as Christian parents, to teach them about the very God of creation who took us in, fed us, clothed us, and made us His own....., when we did absolutely nothing to deserve it.
Currently, there are over 6,000 kids in foster care in the state of Alabama alone. Most of these kids are being bounced back and forth from home to home, never knowing from day to day where they are going to land next, or if they will wind up in the home of a loving family who will take care of them. Believe me, there are plenty of people in this for the wrong reasons - and it makes me sick to think about it. We MUST mobilize the Church for the sake of the children. But we can't mobilize the Church if we are only looking at pictures of these kids on websites and talking about the great need out there. I have been telling Jay for awhile that I am so weary of looking at blogs and other websites of the orphaned child and wishing there was something I could do about it, but thinking that the job belongs to someone else - someone more qualified than me, someone more educated than me, someone more spiritually prepared for the task. The bottom line is we CAN do something about it. It's time to stop talking about it, stop making excuses (like me), and to act. We can't save them all, I know that, but we can save 1 at a time. I believe the Church needs to see these children in the flesh. I am convinced that until the Church sees them in the care of the believer, hugs the child, holds them, rocks them, laughs with them, and cries with them, they will not be "real" and will continue to be just another statistic. These children are made in the image of a Holy God, and they deserve to be loved and protected. I know someone who just completed her training last week, arrived home from her last class, and her phone rang saying that a child was on the way to her home that evening. And another friend picked up an abandoned 2 day old baby from DHR because the first foster parents who were called, just decided not to show up. These kids are waiting on us...., right here in our city, and in your city.
Who are these kids in foster care?
For those of you reading this, wondering if I am terrified to take this step, the answer is a resounding YES. For those of you wondering if I am as excited as I am scared, the answer is YES. I think my emotions on this one are swinging as far to the right as they are to the left. But, I keep going back to the comment that my friend made saying, "how could you do this"? My response to her immediately was, "how could I not"? I know my response was from the Holy Spirit because when I look at that list of kids and their deep, deep needs, don't think for a second that I would willingly volunteer for something that I feel so ill-prepared for. And don't think that I haven't looked for a way "out" either. But I was called - and the Church was called. I cannot continue to ignore His calling.
When Christ calls, He doesn't ask us to be prepared financially, emotionally, spiritually, or physically (and believe me I am none of the above). He does however tell us to be prepared to suffer for His sake. The question(s) become, do we really trust Him to be who He says He is - and that He will fully equip us to do what He has called us to do - and will we not only trust Him, but obey Him as well......, even though it will mean great suffering?
I am not writing to convict or to guilt anyone reading this. That is the Lord's work and His alone. I am simply writing to share our story of how we got to this place and bring awareness to a great need - a need that many people in the Church are not aware even exists. I am still on the journey in my own heart of fully embracing what the Lord is calling me to do, and I need prayer. I am human, frail, and sinful. I like comfort. I like security. I most certainly like to know what is around the corner. If ever there was a time in my life where God is asking me to let go and trust Him, it is now. These children could be in our care for 24 hours, a week, a month, a year, 5 years, or they could never leave our care and take our last name. We have no way of knowing what God has planned for us, yet we know the need. For us to turn a blind eye, pretending like there is not because we are scared would be wrong.
So, here we go - journeying to the unknown, trusting that God has already gone before us and prepared the way. We covet your prayers for us, and for the Church as a whole; that it would reclaim it's responsibility to take care of the orphan.
Next Tuesday evening, and for the following 10 Tuesday evenings, Jay and I will leave Elijah Brooks behind to receive our training through DHR in order to become foster parents. We have felt called by the Lord for many years to take this step, but shamefully I say, "the time was just never right". I cringe even now reading those words, and yes, part of the sin that God is slowly breaking me of is the sin of self. When I think of all of the reasons why God surely must have made a mistake calling me to this ministry, every one of my reasons starts with "ME" or "I". I have been very convicted over the past several months that it is simply not about me. It is not about my desires, my comfort, my security, my wisdom (or lack thereof), my ability to love a child (or not), my stability, or any of the other hundred words I could fill in that blank. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. On my own, I am 100% ill-equipped, ill-prepared, and inadequate to do this. This is huge - and so much bigger than me. Someone asked me recently, "how can you do this? Because if the Lord called me, I sure would run the other way". This person is a Christian and a dear friend, but I fear this is becoming more of a common response than not. Somewhere along the way, the Church has dropped the ball. The Church is supposed to be caring for and loving the orphan, and I don't mean just handing them money from the offering plate and sending them on their way. The word "orphan" means, "a child whose parents are dead". If a child is being neglected in the home, abused, food withheld, clothes withheld, love withheld - what is the difference that the parents are not literally dead? This neglected child has no parents. The emotional and physical scars these kids carry are deeper than I will ever understand. Unfortunately, kids in the foster care system often get overlooked. The Church has turned over our God-given duty, and privilege, to the State. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to the State for taking up the slack where the Church has failed. But, it's OUR job to take care of these children. It's OUR job, as Christian parents, to teach them about the very God of creation who took us in, fed us, clothed us, and made us His own....., when we did absolutely nothing to deserve it.
"But because of HIS great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved". Eph. 2:4
Currently, there are over 6,000 kids in foster care in the state of Alabama alone. Most of these kids are being bounced back and forth from home to home, never knowing from day to day where they are going to land next, or if they will wind up in the home of a loving family who will take care of them. Believe me, there are plenty of people in this for the wrong reasons - and it makes me sick to think about it. We MUST mobilize the Church for the sake of the children. But we can't mobilize the Church if we are only looking at pictures of these kids on websites and talking about the great need out there. I have been telling Jay for awhile that I am so weary of looking at blogs and other websites of the orphaned child and wishing there was something I could do about it, but thinking that the job belongs to someone else - someone more qualified than me, someone more educated than me, someone more spiritually prepared for the task. The bottom line is we CAN do something about it. It's time to stop talking about it, stop making excuses (like me), and to act. We can't save them all, I know that, but we can save 1 at a time. I believe the Church needs to see these children in the flesh. I am convinced that until the Church sees them in the care of the believer, hugs the child, holds them, rocks them, laughs with them, and cries with them, they will not be "real" and will continue to be just another statistic. These children are made in the image of a Holy God, and they deserve to be loved and protected. I know someone who just completed her training last week, arrived home from her last class, and her phone rang saying that a child was on the way to her home that evening. And another friend picked up an abandoned 2 day old baby from DHR because the first foster parents who were called, just decided not to show up. These kids are waiting on us...., right here in our city, and in your city.
Who are these kids in foster care?
Children from all ethnic and economic groups. Children with backgrounds or experiences that have placed them at risk. Brothers and sisters who need to stay together. Teens with various degrees of mental, physical or emotional problems. Children of all ages who cannot currently live with their birth families due to the risk of neglect, physical or sexual abuse.
For those of you reading this, wondering if I am terrified to take this step, the answer is a resounding YES. For those of you wondering if I am as excited as I am scared, the answer is YES. I think my emotions on this one are swinging as far to the right as they are to the left. But, I keep going back to the comment that my friend made saying, "how could you do this"? My response to her immediately was, "how could I not"? I know my response was from the Holy Spirit because when I look at that list of kids and their deep, deep needs, don't think for a second that I would willingly volunteer for something that I feel so ill-prepared for. And don't think that I haven't looked for a way "out" either. But I was called - and the Church was called. I cannot continue to ignore His calling.
When Christ calls, He doesn't ask us to be prepared financially, emotionally, spiritually, or physically (and believe me I am none of the above). He does however tell us to be prepared to suffer for His sake. The question(s) become, do we really trust Him to be who He says He is - and that He will fully equip us to do what He has called us to do - and will we not only trust Him, but obey Him as well......, even though it will mean great suffering?
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory". Romans 8:15
I am not writing to convict or to guilt anyone reading this. That is the Lord's work and His alone. I am simply writing to share our story of how we got to this place and bring awareness to a great need - a need that many people in the Church are not aware even exists. I am still on the journey in my own heart of fully embracing what the Lord is calling me to do, and I need prayer. I am human, frail, and sinful. I like comfort. I like security. I most certainly like to know what is around the corner. If ever there was a time in my life where God is asking me to let go and trust Him, it is now. These children could be in our care for 24 hours, a week, a month, a year, 5 years, or they could never leave our care and take our last name. We have no way of knowing what God has planned for us, yet we know the need. For us to turn a blind eye, pretending like there is not because we are scared would be wrong.
So, here we go - journeying to the unknown, trusting that God has already gone before us and prepared the way. We covet your prayers for us, and for the Church as a whole; that it would reclaim it's responsibility to take care of the orphan.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen". Eph. 3:20
Monday, January 17, 2011
"Recent Visit with Friends"
We moved from a dear community in rural South Carolina alittle over a year ago to minister to a new community in Alabama. We made lasting friendships with many of the people in the town and church we left. I wouldn't pack up my 2 year old and drive 7 hours to visit with just anyone, but these are very special people who have etched their way into our hearts for a lifetime. These precious friends of ours saw us through many trials and many celebrations during our 3 years ministering in their church. They were the family that we did not have close by. Isn't that what the church is supposed to be? These dear people love with a deep and abiding love, and love unconditionally - with no strings attached. We did not think that the Lord would call us away from them so soon, but He did, and we trust we are exactly where He would have us for this season of our lives. We miss them dearly though. We were able to visit briefly last May when we went back for Jay's graduation, but it was a whirlwind of a weekend and we didn't feel that we were able to really get a quality visit. This time, we went to visit just because - there was no "event" to attend. We just wanted to go because we missed them.
Of course, I never had my camera with me when I needed it to actually take pictures of our friends - so here I am writing about my precious friends and I am posting mostly pictures of our son! In my defense, it was quite difficult trying to get pictures of families together while children were running everywhere - and we were trying to say hello to every person in the congregation at a covered dish supper - and watch my toddler. Don't you love how I just justified that?? I was just too busy running my mouth to take pictures. I will do better on our next visit :)
For now, enjoy my future farmer.
I just breathe better in the country. Never thought I would say it, but I truly miss living in the wide open.
Sunrise early Sunday morning - was about 17 degrees that morning. It was so quiet out there on the porch you could hear a pin drop. LOVE IT.
John Deere remains to be the latest fascination
When we arrived at sweet Brenda and Bill's house, this was waiting for Elijah Brooks on the counter. They know him so well and love him like he was their own.
I don't have enough words to describe this most precious person in my life - Diana. Her husband was on staff at the church we were also ministering in, and they are moving back to Mexico this summer to plant a new church. We were next door neighbors in that wide open field for 3 years. She and I cried many a tears together and shared many laughs. I always called her my "angel neighbor". She came to help me as a new mom (who was clueless, scared, and in pain from my wrists), more times than I can count. If I needed her, she was there for me - always. There was a never a time that I called and she didn't make herself available. The last time we made a trip to SC, she wasn't there because she was having back surgery in Mexico. When I took this picture, she had not seen EB in 14 months. She was overjoyed to see him and I was so thankful that he remembered her. He knew her face, her skin, her voice, her touch, and her accent. She always called him, "her handsome blue eyes" - and when she said it that night, you should have seen the smile on his face. He knew her. My heart hurts just writing this because I miss her so much.
Sweet "Mr. Bill". He and Elijah Brooks have a sweet relationship. He has him wrapped around his little finger and I honestly believe he would give him the moon. Elijah Brooks is the only baby who has sat in his lap! Here they are watching EB's "John Deere" for kids tractor video. The last night we were there, EB went to his room and brought Bill all of his tractor books, crawled up in his lap and insisted that only "Mr. Bill" read to him. Of course, it just melted his heart. We came home with a new John Deere tractor and Bill gave him one of his very own John Deere tractor pillows.
Of course, I never had my camera with me when I needed it to actually take pictures of our friends - so here I am writing about my precious friends and I am posting mostly pictures of our son! In my defense, it was quite difficult trying to get pictures of families together while children were running everywhere - and we were trying to say hello to every person in the congregation at a covered dish supper - and watch my toddler. Don't you love how I just justified that?? I was just too busy running my mouth to take pictures. I will do better on our next visit :)
For now, enjoy my future farmer.
I just breathe better in the country. Never thought I would say it, but I truly miss living in the wide open.
Sunrise early Sunday morning - was about 17 degrees that morning. It was so quiet out there on the porch you could hear a pin drop. LOVE IT.
John Deere remains to be the latest fascination
When we arrived at sweet Brenda and Bill's house, this was waiting for Elijah Brooks on the counter. They know him so well and love him like he was their own.
I don't have enough words to describe this most precious person in my life - Diana. Her husband was on staff at the church we were also ministering in, and they are moving back to Mexico this summer to plant a new church. We were next door neighbors in that wide open field for 3 years. She and I cried many a tears together and shared many laughs. I always called her my "angel neighbor". She came to help me as a new mom (who was clueless, scared, and in pain from my wrists), more times than I can count. If I needed her, she was there for me - always. There was a never a time that I called and she didn't make herself available. The last time we made a trip to SC, she wasn't there because she was having back surgery in Mexico. When I took this picture, she had not seen EB in 14 months. She was overjoyed to see him and I was so thankful that he remembered her. He knew her face, her skin, her voice, her touch, and her accent. She always called him, "her handsome blue eyes" - and when she said it that night, you should have seen the smile on his face. He knew her. My heart hurts just writing this because I miss her so much.
Sweet "Mr. Bill". He and Elijah Brooks have a sweet relationship. He has him wrapped around his little finger and I honestly believe he would give him the moon. Elijah Brooks is the only baby who has sat in his lap! Here they are watching EB's "John Deere" for kids tractor video. The last night we were there, EB went to his room and brought Bill all of his tractor books, crawled up in his lap and insisted that only "Mr. Bill" read to him. Of course, it just melted his heart. We came home with a new John Deere tractor and Bill gave him one of his very own John Deere tractor pillows.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
"Tender Heart"
Elijah Brooks has a heart for people. He loves people, fully and deeply. He will be anyone's best friend if they will let him. He is concerned for others and hurts when they hurt. It is quite upsetting to him to see someone cry. He will get an unmistakeably concerned look on his face and furrow his little brow, and it is obvious that it bothers him. He is constantly reminding me to pray for someone - even when I have forgotten or am not thinking about it. Sometimes he is quite incessant that I pray for that person immediately. I pray daily that God will protect and enlarge his compassion for others, and that his tender heart will not become callous or blinded to the needs of others.
His friend Jackson (from church), has been sick this week. We have been praying for him for the last several nights. This morning when I dropped him off at Sunday School, Jackson was already there. Elijah Brooks immediately, without any prompting from me, walked over to Jackson and knelt down beside him. This was the conversation I witnessed between these 2 precious two year olds:
Elijah Brooks: "Hey Jack Jack! You feelin' better"?
Jackson: "Uh huh"
It took everything in me not to just melt into a puddle on the floor. It was just the sweetest and most genuine and sincere question. He knew we had been praying for his friend and was concerned about him this week. He was just so excited to see him at church and his first thought was to check on him - before playing with toys. We are certainly dealing with our share of "strong-willed" moments these days with him, but when he does something like this and thinks of someone else above himself, it just does my heart so much good.
Oh, and completely off the subject, but I need to post so I don't forget. We were driving home from church and I asked him what was his favorite part about Sunday School, to which he very honestly answered, "Fruit nacks, memonade, and coloring books".
He also told me in the car while driving home, "Mommy, both hands on wheel"!! Great, he totally called me out!
And last night while rocking/singing before bed, this was the conversation:
EB: "Mommy, sing those words to song"
Mommy: "Darling, mommy doesn't know the words to this song"
EB: "Mommy, just hum then"!!
Makes sense to me. Smart kiddo!
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