"Sprinkler Fun"....

"Mr. Cornelius's big, blue truck"

Elijah Brooks, being his sweet little "boy self", loves wheels (anything with wheels). Our very kind next door neighbor, Cornelius, just took a new job driving an 18-wheeler. We have grown very fond of this gentleman and I think the feeling is mutual (or at least I hope that it is)! He has been promising Elijah Brooks for about a month now that he could come "drive" his truck with him. Every day, I am reminded by a blond-haired little boy of this fact! Well, last Saturday, we finally were able to get our schedules to aligned and we drove to a remote area in town where the truck is parked. I wish I had been able to capture the initial expression on EB's face when we pulled up and he saw it, and Mr. Cornelius standing beside it. Priceless! We spent about an hour with him, taking a "tour" of his truck and getting the truck driver scoop on all of us other drivers who really do not know what these men (and women) deal with on a daily basis while maneuvering around all of the cars on the interstate. It was pretty enlightening actually, and I have a new-found respect for truck drivers. Anyway, little did we know that we were actually going to get to go on a real ride with him. I probably shouldn't blog that our son sat perched upon his Daddy's knee on a bunk bed in the back of a "big rig" for about 20 minutes on our drive, while I sat in the front seat getting a bird's eye view. Illegal? YES. Fun? Absolutely. Hey, they were sitting on the bottom bunk if that makes any of you feel any better.

I haven't seen a happier little boy in a long time. It was a very fun outing, and I feel like our friendship with our neighbor deepened just a little bit more on this adventure.

Good times!




This is the face of one very happy little boy!






Hanging out on the bunk bed

"Better Days..."

Of course, he had to "drive" some "ma mowers"


New tractors!

Okay, last post about the beloved paci. We are 7 days into our "new normal" around here. I am happy to report that while things aren't perfectly peachy, they are BETTER. I will take better any day! Every day, he is doing better and getting more and more adjusted. In a week, he has only asked for his paci one time. Nothing brings him comfort quite like the arms of his mommy, but he is doing better than he was this time last week. In a few weeks, I am convinced this will be a distant memory. Jay used the analogy of a pacifier and us finding rest and comfort in the arms of Jesus yesterday in his sermon illustration. I think the whole church must have felt sorry for us and were all praying last night - since it was the calmest night we have had in a week!!

Children definitely are not programmable robots - but hey, better is better and you learn to just be thankful for any glimpse of improvement.

And, I am thankful.

PS. As an add on (written several hours later), he went to sleep tonight for the first time in 7 nights without any crying, or screaming, or manipulating. There was total peace in his room, and in our house tonight. I think he has finally realized that he is just as safe and secure without his paci as he was with it. The same mommy and daddy are with him, and the same God is with him to protect and comfort. I am rejoicing this night in a victory.

"Tired"....

Who says someone can't take their pacifier to college with them?? Really, what's so wrong about that? If they sleep, and their momma's sleep - it's okay with me.

I am tired.

He is doing GREAT at night. Still having a rough time falling asleep without his beloved paci, but he is staying asleep and sleeping all night. The daytime nap is a completely different story. I am seeing a fighting spirit in my son that I have never seen before. He is fighting his nap like a mad man. This is my child who normally takes 2-3 hour naps every single day, like clockwork, now refusing a nap since I took his paci away...., banging on the wall, jumping in his bed, singing every song that he knows, talking incessantly without taking a breath, thinking of every reason for me to come upstairs, crying that he is scared, and singing some more songs. Somebody please tell me that this is normal and it will pass and we will get back into some sort of schedule. Even a 1 hour nap would be acceptable for me at this point. I need some time alone, and he needs a nap. The paci had to go away eventually so I still hang onto my belief that there is no time like the present. I would have been avoiding the inevitable had I kept waiting.

The days are long, soooooo LONG, but the years are so short. I am trying to hang onto that truth. But this week, I am tired.

He still loves his tractors though, so at least I didn't waste any money.

"Bravery at it's Finest..."

I don't know who was more brave this morning, me or Elijah Brooks. For awhile, we have been talking about how the paci (otherwise called a "pah" - as in the word "hat"), is going to go away one day. I have always been completely up front and honest with Elijah Brooks since he could first understand me, and have been matter of fact with him about everything. He doesn't like surprises and very much likes to be prepared in advance for whatever is about to happen - VERY much like his mommy! So, we have been talking about it for a few weeks and he knew that the day would be coming when he could "trade" his paci's in for some new John Deere tractors. I have been waiting for somewhat of a slow week, when we wouldn't have to be away from him at nighttime or naptime. This week seemed like the best week, since we do not have to go to foster care training tomorrow night - we get a week off - and there are no church activities tomorrow night because of Spring Break. This morning, he and I talked about it for a few minutes and then loaded up in the car to go to Tractor Supply Company. He put his paci's in a little plastic bag and held onto them until we got to the store. He was so excited to see so many lawnmowers outside that he could sit on and ride, that he didn't even want to go inside and look for his new beloved tractor! I finally pulled him away from outside to go inside and choose his new toy. He chose a "Model A" tractor, just like the one on his video, and a few small (matchbox car size) tractors and mowers. I asked him if he was ready to take his "pah's" to Ms. Lisa at the checkout counter and trade them in for his new tractors. He said that he was, but obviously I was alittle hesitant because I took my time and even walked around the store 2 more times just stalling!! Clearly, I was more anxious than he was. We got up to the counter and he handed the little bag of paci's over to the lady at the counter and yelled at the top of his lungs, "BYE BYE PAH'S"!! She rang us up and put his tractors in the bag, to which he proudly carried them outside and hopped right back on the lawnmowers. I was seriously about to cry, but did a good job of being brave myself! This was a HUGE moment - those paci's have been with us for a long time and were like a good friend. Yes, they were so gross and probably should have been tossed out a long time ago, but they were still pretty sentimental. We had transitioned a long time ago to just having the paci in the bed and he wasn't allowed to carry it around during the day and he did great with that transition. He has a mound of blankets and stuffed animals in his bed that I sincerely hope will become his new "best friends" during sleep.

When it was time for his nap today, he looked in every slat of his crib to see if he could find an extra one hanging out, but no luck. He told me one time that he didn't want his tractors anymore, but then in the very next breath he said he wanted to go downstairs and play with them. It took over an hour for him to go to sleep (and finally had to have some help from mommy), but I was proud of him. He never once cried for his paci - he cried for me - but not for his paci. And, he talked incessantly!!!! I knew the boy could talk, but WOW, he can really talk!

I am fully prepared for a few rough nights this week, but another reason I chose this week is because for some reason, it has been taking him alot longer to fall asleep at night anyway. I thought, why not just start fresh today with a "new normal". I have been delaying the inevitable for quite some time and I figured that there is no time like the present. He is 28 months old.

Towards the middle of the week, I may completely be regretting this spur of the moment decision (I called Jay on the way to the tractor store to tell him), but going "cold turkey" on the potty training worked for us. I am hopeful we will get through yet another major milestone in the life of a toddler. There is always something isn't there?

Pictures to come - yes, I took my camera to Tractor Supply to document. My only regret is that I didn't get a picture of him actually handing the little baggie over the counter, but I didn't really want to call too much attention to the actual moment for his sake. That could have backfired in a major way!

I am really beginning to sense that my "baby" is growing up now. There are so few things now to remind me of his "babyhood" - no diapers, no paci etc...... He is still in his crib, so I guess that will be the next hurdle. He still curls up in my lap to be rocked (though his legs hang out the window now), so I am trying to hold on to this as long as I can. If he wants me to rock him when he's 12, I will rock him until his heart is content. It's quite doubtful this will ever happen, but a momma can dream I guess.

"True Boyhood"...

This is the "Mommy, are you sure it's really okay if I do this?" look.

"Out of the mouths of babes...."

We had a rough morning. I am not really even sure why, it was just one of those mornings. My "happy go lucky" child was not so happy this morning - he didn't even want to go to the park with friends and just seemed to want to be alone (well, with mommy), but not with friends. Definitely not typical for his extroverted personality. After several discipline tactics for multiple disobedience offenses, I finally just sat on the floor exhausted and frustrated, looked at him and asked, "honey, what is wrong today"? He sat down on the floor across from me and said, "I'm just having a hard day".

"What we've been up to lately...."

We've been up to plenty the past few weeks...., besides watching our "baby" grow up before our very eyes. I am feeling 100% again which is a huge blessing. Not being able to pick up my boy was very difficult for me. We are in the thick of our foster parenting training! We have completed 6 of the 10 required classes and have had our 1st home study. I finished my CPR course and Jay will attend his this upcoming week. We have answered 1,000 questions, gone through many "role playing" exercises, and cried plenty of tears as we listen to the stories of kids we will be loving. We have our fingerprinting still to go and a few more home study's. It really feels somewhat surreal that we are going through this. The process is so much faster than I thought it would be. The reality is beginning to sink in that we could realistically get a call from DHR in 4 weeks and have a child in our home. We talked alittle bit tonight with Elijah Brooks about it, in ways we thought he could understand. His first question was, "what their name is"? We got a small glimpse into how he might handle this whole transition just a few nights ago - as a sweet little 2 year old girl came to play with him for an hour or so. She was alittle bit different from him, but still the same in so many ways. He seemed to just "know" intuitively that she needed to be loved on. Jay and I were humbled as we watched our son love her in the unique way that a 2 year old can - free from labels or judgements. We are praying now for the child who will be placed in our home, under our care. If you read this, please say a prayer for the child who is waiting for us. This child most likely doesn't even know that DHR could come knocking on his/her door, and take him/her to a new home in just a matter of weeks. Pray too for my heart, as I am still trying to grasp all of this. God is truly calling us to follow him with reckless abandonment.

In addition to all of our training and preparation, we have just been enjoying life together. I had a birthday last week and had a wonderful day - Jay painted our bedroom for my birthday and I was able to find a new comforter for 50% off. I was able to have some special alone time with EB, lunch alone with Jay, the afternoon completely alone to shop, and then dinner with my parents. I felt like I had the best of so many things - having some "me time" and then time with the people whom I love most. Every day, EB and I take slow walks around the neighborhood while he rides his John Deere tractor, stopping to play in the mud and throw rocks into the ditch. Now that the weather has turned alittle warmer, we are outside most of the day, except to come in for a nap. EB is happiest of all when he is outside - it doesn't take much to entertain him outside. He is all boy and absolutely thrives when he is outside. We have enjoyed many trips to the parks and the zoo, have played with lots of friends and cousins, have had picnics outside every day (and sometimes with Daddy too), have been to the farm many times to visit my grandparents and let EB ride the mower and power wagon with his great-grandfather, have laid in the grass watching the clouds move, have learned letters and numbers while playing outside - rather than sitting down and doing something "formal", crossed many more milestones like learning how to ride a big boy bike, taken LOTS of baths washing off mud and dirt, and have laughed more than should be allowed!

For all of the craziness of life, LIFE IS GOOD.




Is my 2 year old really doing this by himself - and riding uphill? When did he get so big?







Digging in the dirt


He mastered the big slide!


"Have a little help from a friend"- or Daddy in this case


Driving a golf cart through the church parking lot - alittle strange, but he LOVES it.




"Riding" a motorcycle with Mommy






"Cheese"! (with Sesame Street undies on his head)!