Whew, it's been a wild few days, kind of touch and go at times. Bottom line, our sweet boy has been one sick little guy - but maintains the most positive, best attitude of any sick child I have ever seen. After a trip to the allergist, we were hoping for some definitive answers as to what keeps triggering so many respiratory infections. He was tested for the 27 most common allergy triggers and get this, he tested negative for every single one of them! So, horray, he doesn't seem to be an allergic child - that's good news. I am clinging to any good news at this point. However, his symptoms do seem to indicate that he is dealing with asthma, which is exaserbated by respiratory infections. In fact, the doctor said that a child with asthma is going to be more susceptible to respiratory infections, when he has them, they will be more severe and last longer than a child without asthma. CHECK! That matches his symptoms. I have noticed that any time he gets a respiratory infection, it seems to linger for much longer than anticipated and they always make him very sick - very high temperatures and respiratory distress. It is difficult to 100% diagnose a child with asthma this young, so all we really have to go on is that his symptoms do match those of an asthmatic child. He does not seem to deal with asthmatic symptoms unless he has a respiratory infection - meaning, hopefully he will not have to carry an inhaler around at all times. It definitely seems to be triggered by illness (and remember, he has had 8 major infections this year). Although, that alone makes me want to put him in a bubble and never let him out of the house!!! Can't do that though, so I just have to pray that God will shield him and shield my heart from worry.
He has been sick for 9 days now. He has been on an antibiotic, steroid pack, and inhaler for 6 of them and was hopeful that he was turning a corner. His fever broke several days ago, but the coughing attacks linger and have been quite frightening at times. He has had several coughing episodes the past few nights though that have had me nearly getting ready to put him the car and head to the ER. There is nothing more frightening than to sit on your child's bed with them while they gasp for breath, chest caving in, and cough until they simply pass out from exhaustion. There is no more helpless feeling for a mother than to not be able to help her child. All I could do with sit there with him and pray over him, and that's what I did night after night after night after night. Today is Thursday....., Tuesday night he had one of these episodes again where he coughed for 4 hours solid, not having more than 60 seconds between coughs. At 4am, I finally turned on the light and let him watch a DVD in his bed while he coughed. It was less frightening to him, and myself, to have the light on and watch a movie. What is is about the dark that is so frightening?? Yall know that feeling right? Is it the feeling of being completely out of control, not knowing what path you are on and what is just around the bend, the fear of not being able to get help when you need it, the fear of simply not being able to see?? Maybe it's all of those things, but darkness is just frightening - both physical darkness, emotional darkness, and spiritual darkness. Things always seem more frightening at nighttime, but morning comes and fear dissipates. I love that Jesus uses so many references to light and darkness. He knows that we human beings are afraid of the dark. He knows that is one of our many weaknesses, which is why I am so thankful that HE IS THE LIGHT of the world. He came to bust through our darkness and spread His glorious light all around.
Back to EB and the movie at 4am...., when he saw me plugging in his DVD player he said, "wow momma, you don't ever let me do this"! He is getting to do alot of things during this illness that he doesn't get to to normally - and I am perfectly okay with that. Watching a DVD at 4am during a major coughing attack that lasted far too long, seemed like a better option to me than letting him lay in his dark room suffering. He could at least suffer with the light on watching a funny movie! And me too :)
I sat there with him thinking that I really needed to take him back to the doctor for a re-check because I really didn't think there had been much improvement after a week on antibiotics. I called the nurse on call and explained what had happened during the night and she said that it seemed like respiratory distress...., I could have told her that...., and he needed to be seen. So, back to the doctor we went. I prayed the entire morning before his appointment that the doctor would see or hear exactly what he needed to, and that I wouldn't have to plead my case before him that I didn't feel my child was improving and needed a different course of treatment. God answered every prayer. It was evident as soon as his blood work and chest x-ray came back that there had indeed not been any improvement. I was thankful that I didn't have to try to get his doctor to believe me and be aggressive with treatment, but that it was evident. Sometimes it's hard as a mom to walk that fine line between not over-reacting about your children because of your own fear, and being insistent that they are not getting well because you simply know your child better than anyone else.
Long story, he was pulled off of all medicine and his treatment plan has changed. He is now on 2 different antibiotics, a lung steroid inhaled through a nebulizer, and a bronchodialator also inhaled through his nebulizer.
He has been quite sick with respiratory infections before, but this is the sickest he has ever been. He does seem to generally feel better, but still tired and weak, and will cough at the slightest exhertion of energy. The prayer at this point is that these antibiotics will kill the bacteria causing this pneumonia and that he will start turning a corner quickly. Pray also that his coughing attacks in the night will lessen. Pray his energy will return and that a spark will return to his eyes - isn't is always amazing how telling the eyes are?? You can tell so much about a person through their eyes. Pray too that he will not relapse once his recovers. His immune system is pretty low right now. Pray that the rest of our family will be protected so we can continue caring for his needs. Pray that our family would get rest, and that our hearts would be protected from worry and fear. Pray that we would suffer well, as Christ did.
Before closing this post, I have to write a few precious things he has said in the midst of this trial.
-During one of his coughing attacks in the night he said, "I know y'all are doing everything you can to help me, but only Doctor Jesus can help me now". So true, so true, out of the mouth of a babe.
-This morning while my mom was here at the house helping me administer medicines etc...., he said, "thank both of y'all for all of your help, I just love ya so much".
-He told me on the way to the doctor, "I know my doctor is doing his best, but I am pretty sure Jesus can do better"!
-He said, "Mom, you're just the best in the whole world cuz you give me my medicine and take care of me, and I know you're doing your best to help me".
-"I think I like being sick, cuz I get special things"!
-"Can I have a dessert cuz I am sick"?
Sweet buddy, we are doing everything we can to get you well, but as you said, "Doctor Jesus" is the best healer in the world and we are trusting Him. I am so proud of you Elijah Brooks, for holding on to your faith. You have showed more faith during this trial than we could have ever imagined. Thank you for showing mommy how to "suffer well" and hold on to my faith. You are teaching me daily. You are one strong young boy who I believe God is going to use mightily for His kingdom. Keep your faith EB and remember, God is GOOD, no matter what.
love always,
Mommy
