"Happier Days"....

"Sunday, Monday Happy Days,
Tuesday, Wednesday Happy Days,
Thursday, Friday Happy Days,
Saturday, what a day"!

Okay, so that was alittle cheezy, but happier days have come to the Joye household. While we still have several more weeks before the cast comes off, I feel as if I have finally figured out how to manage a 3 year old in a cast and a newborn, and all of the unique challenges this particular combination presents.  Now sure as the world I say that, tomorrow will be a hard day. That's what happened the night before EB fell. I was having a conversation with my neighbor across the street and she was asking how it was going adjusting to 2 children etc....  I told her it wasn't really as hard as I thought it was going to be because EB was so independent and was able to do most everything for himself in the house except dress himself and prepare his food. Less than 24 hours later, he was completely dependent on me in a major way!   But, God's grace has been, IS, and continues to be sufficient for our every need. Not just some of our needs, but every single one of them - and for the times when I just don't think I can put one foot in front of the other. His grace is ENOUGH. I just need to get out of the way.

Enjoy some pictures of my happy, smiling, and content children. "Contentment" has been a word that I have prayed many times over the past few weeks for both of my children and myself. God has been gracious to teach us what this truly means, as we wade through the choppy waters of various trials that have come upon our dear family in recent months.

Ellison Anne 9 weeks old

After a week of being very anxious and fearful to even attempt to stand on his leg, Elijah Brooks finally decided that he wanted to try to swing. He went to a birthday party over the weekend for a sweet friend of his, and he watched the children swinging very intently - watching their every move from sitting in my lap.  I asked him several times if he wanted to try to swing, and he very politely told me that he did not want to, but he might in a few minutes.  Well, after several times of me asking (was trying to help him), he said, "Mommy, stop asking me. I don't want to swing"!  Okay, I got the point. He has ALOT of his mommy in him! After thinking about this incident and trying to figure out why he snapped at me, I realized that he really did want to swing, but he was fearful that he might fall or not be able to do it in front of the other children.  Several days later, in the privacy of his own backyard, he decided on his own that he wanted to try. He was thrilled beyond words that he was able to do it, and now every day, we are out swinging.  He told me today, "Mommy, I am feeling brave and confident"!

It does my heart so much good to see this smile again.

I wish I had a picture of me at age 3 to compare this with.  His face/expression is a carbon copy of me!

My beautiful girl "flying" with Daddy!

Thanks to a shorter cast, he can get back to doing what he truly loves - riding the John Deere lawnmower at his great-grandparents house. Very much like the swinging incident, I have been asking him if he was ready to try this again. Each time I asked, I got the same answer, "No, I don't think so" (which is very unlike him - he usually runs out to the work shed to jump on it).  But, he was feeling brave this week and decided he wanted to try it again with his Bebe. Each day, I am seeing more and more of my sweet boy emerge from the frustrated cocoon he has been trapped in.

"Wrapped Around my Finger"....

"Update on my boy"....

Well, it's been a very long 3 weeks. I could stop there. But, since this is a scrapbook I should continue!

I could not be more proud of the way that Elijah Brooks has dealt with his adversity. Yes, he has cried, he has yelled, he has been angry, he has been frustrated, has been "Jekyll and Hyde", has thrown things, and has just been plain ole' sad.  But, he has also smiled, laughed, told jokes, shown courage, perseverance and endurance. He is learning that he has 2 options : either he can be miserable or he can find joy in the midst of his affliction. He has realized that he will eventually walk again, but there are many children who never will. He is learning that whatever is in is heart, will be what comes out of his mouth - so if there is anger in his heart about the situation, then angry words come out of his mouth. But if there is joy in his heart (that only Christ can give him), then his words will be pleasant and pleasing. He is learning that pain in this life is inevitable, but misery is optional.

As difficult as it has been, and continues to be, there have been many wonderful moments for both of us as we wade these new waters together.  I know a broken leg doesn't sound like such a big deal, but it has proven to be much harder than anyone realized. Everything, and I mean everything, is more challenging - and taking care of an 8 week old in the midst of it has certainly added to the challenge.

But, here we are 3 weeks later (with 4 weeks to go), and we have made it thus far and God has taught us both some invaluable life lessons.

His long, full-leg cast was cut down this week to a shorter cast just below the knee. He had been coming to me for several weeks with his plastic saw, crying and begging me to please cut his cast off. Talk about breaking my heart wide open. At the doctor this week, he was terrified of the real saw - it was so loud and he was afraid the nurse was going to cut his leg.  Through his tears, he kept saying, "please don't cut me, please don't cut me, please don't cut me".  Later he asked me, "Mommy, why didn't that nurse talk to me when I told her not to cut me"?  I assured him that she didn't talk because she was concentrating so that should wouldn't cut him. I think he was glad she didn't talk back!  Once she got the blue, long cast off, again through alot of tears he said, "Hi leg"!  It was the sweetest thing Jay and I have ever heard. He was so glad to see his leg again.  When the nurse asked him what color his wanted his new short cast to be he said, "John Deere Green"!  So now he has a bright green cast and matches his John Deere tractor perfectly!

He received a walking boot to begin trying to walk, but so far is unable to walk.  He was very fearful for the first 24 hours to even attempt to walk, but I convinced him yesterday to try to stand with me holding him and we would walk around the kitchen a few steps. I was not prepared for the muscles in both of his legs to have atrophied and shut down in 3 weeks time, but they have. When he tried to stand, his legs were like jello.  And today, the same thing.  So I think we have a long road ahead of us, but I am so proud of his perseverance. His back muscles are even weak from not using them. I make him get up every hour to walk around the kitchen/living room with me holding onto him.  If you are reading this, please say a prayer that strength would return to his legs, complete healing for the bones, and protection for him as he begins to try to move around alittle more. He is going to be rather clumsy for awhile.

So, that's where we are. We return in 3 weeks for another evaluation. I am praying that each day we will notice strength returning to his legs.

My sweet Ellison is doing well - still spitting up alot each day, but doesn't seem to be as fretful and agitated about it.  I am praying that the new medicine may be kicking in now. Add that to the prayer list!  It's been a wild ride around here.  If your family life is dull and boring, please come see us!!  There is never a dull moment around here!

God's grace is sufficient for EACH DAY, and His mercies truly are new EVERY MORNING.

Good Night.

"2 Months"

Sweet Ellison Anne is 2 months old as of a few days ago. I would like to say that we are getting into a routine, but unfortunately, the routine that we were just starting has gotten thrown off with Elijah Brooks' accident. So right now, we are in major "survival mode" and just trying to make it from one hour to the next. Ellison has reflux and doesn't want to be put down, and Elijah Brooks can't get up - so that is quite a dilemma for a mom. Both of my children are helpless right now which presents many challenges, but we are all having to be patient with each other as we are doing the best we can to get through a day.  All of that to say, we have no schedule right now!  That is hard for me since I thrive on a predictable schedule...., but I am having to surrender that desire and just accept that this is where God has us for this time of our lives. Every moment of every day is exactly what He would have me doing, and I am trying to keep that perspective in my fatigue.

Okay, on to the main reason I started this post!  Ellison is 2 months old and growing so quickly.  She weighs 13.3 lbs and is 24 3/4 inches long now - 97% percentile for both - just like her brother was! She is smiling, cooing, and I think I almost heard a laugh today. She doesn't have much hair, but the little she has appears to be strawberry blond.  Everyone calls her a "Redhead", but I am not sure I would go that far just yet.  The jury is still out on that one. She has finally gotten used to her carseat and doesn't scream anymore. She still cries occasionally while we are riding, but it is not that scream like she is being tortured anymore. Her daytime sleep is not regulated yet, but I believe that is because of her reflux. Reflux continually interrupts her sleep, so we are trying to get that under control. We have tried 1 medicine already for 5 weeks and it did not help at all - might as well have been giving her water. So, we are in the process of switching medicine and hopefully she will have relief soon. When she is not hurting from her reflux episode, she is happy as she can be. She rolled over from tummy to back at exactly 8 weeks. I was not expecting her to be able to do that so soon. She still sleeps on her tummy and is sleeping through the night - anywhere between 7-10 hours before her next feeding.  I am shocked - wasn't expecting that either - and I really pray it continues! She has only done a 10 hour stretch a few times, but 7-8 is pretty consistent. She has been doing this for about 3 weeks now. I think with everything else going on right now, this is God's special grace to us. She loves music, and enjoys laying in her bed just listening to her CD's. When she gets overstimulated, that is something she enjoys doing - it is soothing to her. She doesn't like to be put in the Ergo carrier, but once she is in and snug against my chest, she calms down and falls asleep. She still does not like a pacifier. I have tried about 8 different ones and I think I have finally come to the conclusion that she just doesn't like paci's! Oh, and I have to note that she LOVES her big brother.  He can comfort her and calm her down better than anyone else - especially in the car. He will usually sing, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" or "Jesus Loves Me".  He will say often, "It's okay Ellison, you don't have to worry or be afraid". Today, I heard him say, "Mommy, take care of Ellison while I'm gone"!

Here are some pictures of Ellison Anne at 2 months. 

"Elijah Brooks' New Ride".....

For a little boy who loves wheels more than anything else, his very own set of wheels was just the thing to bring a smile to his face - a smile that I haven't seen in over a week now. Sure, he has smiled, but this was a different smile. This was a smile because he gained some of his independence back. A smile because he could now be in a room other than the bedroom or the living room. A smile because he could wheel himself up to his toy shelf and get some of his own toys. A smile because he could help make chex mix in the kitchen with me. A smile because he could go outside and get some much needed fresh air and sunshine. A dear friend from church has a child with spina bifida, and he had an extra wheelchair and brought it to us yesterday. I wasn't sure how EB would do maneuvering it around, but after 2 minutes, the child was able to get around like he had been in it his entire life. He calls it his, "Dodge truck"! We had to rig it somewhat with a piece of wood for a leg extension, but it seems to work fine. I cried, (of course), watching him. His bravery and sheer determination astounded me. He said he wanted to "practice" in the house before taking it outside.  So he practiced around the house 1 time and then said he was ready to take it on the sidewalk.  Then he and I ventured outside for our daily walk, and had a wonderful conversation about weeds as we walked - which turned out to be a great illustration of sin in our life choking out the good fruit.  Every moment is a teachable one!  It was so wonderful to be able to be outside with him again. It's only been 10 days since he has had his cast on, and we both miss that time together so much. We made it around the block before his arms began to get tired. As we were walking back home, he said, "Mommy, we need to pray that God would bless Mrs. Ruth for the way that she blessed us with my new truck".  And we prayed right then and there that God would indeed bless Mrs. Ruth for the way that she blessed us. And it is, and has been such a blessing to our family. 

"Change is Inevitable"....

The winds of change continue to visit our family. Tis the season for change, and great challenges for my immediate family. It has been a terribly difficult year for my family, yet we are all still standing by God's grace alone. Surely He does not give us more than we can bear - I know this to be true because He promises in His Word. I also know that His strength is made perfect in our weakness - He tells me that is true. He also tells me that trouble will come in this world, but assures me that He will never leave nor forsake me. Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

This past Sunday, my family (minus Jay), drove to Birmingham to participate in an Ovarian Cancer cycle-thon to raise money for Ovarian Cancer research. We were riding bikes on "Team Elliot" and were having a wonderful time. I was so proud of my amazing sister, who even during her chemotherapy treatments, hopped up on her bike and rode for an hour!  She is such an inspiration.  After riding my bike, I went to a back room to nurse Ellison.  Elijah Brooks went to the playground with his cousins and their grandparents to play while the other adults were riding their bikes. My brother-in-law Chris, came back to tell me that Elijah Brooks was crying saying his leg hurt. I went to check on him, and as soon as I saw his face I knew something was terribly wrong. You just know your child like no one else does. Somehow I scooped up that huge boy and took him to the back room to try to calm him down and get him to tell me what happened.  His face was so pale and he was screaming uncontrollably - this is the child who rarely cries and has a very high tolerance for pain. He was unable to be consoled and I just knew in my heart that something was really wrong. I didn't know if it was his leg, his foot, or his knee - bone or ligament - but just knew I had to get him to the ER. I  know children cry and have a hard time settling down, but again, a mother knows her child.  I have never had a hard time calming him down since he was a baby. We had to leave the Cancer event and drive him to the ER, and it was an awful drive.  Every bump, every turn, sent him into screaming pain.  I will spare details of our ER visit because quite honestly, it was pretty traumatic for me and him. However, through the tears, he looked up at the doctor and said, "I am going to be strong like Samson".  Oh, break a momma's heart open even further! Then while he was literally coming off the table through horrific screaming he told the nurse, "I'm just so worried about me".  I am so thankful that I had my amazing brother-in-law Chris with me and my parents. Jay had to stay home because of church responsibilities.  I also had Ellison at the hospital with us and had to nurse her about 4 times while we were there, all the while trying to comfort my other child who was in terrible pain - very, very hard on a momma's heart to be so pulled. After excruciating x-rays and murderous IV's, it was confirmed that the poor child had broken his leg in 2 places. He had to be sedated so that the bones could be re-set, and then he was put in a cast from his hip to his toes.  He will be in his cast for 6 weeks and will not be able to put any weight on his foot the entire 6 weeks - so no walking boot.

So, here I am 5 days later (I have been trying to write this post for the past 4 days), with a very active 3 year old little boy who is completely immobilized and has to be carried everywhere - and an 8 week old newborn.  Enough said.

The first 48 hours were excruciating for him and for us. He was in an enormous amount of pain, but it does seem to be subsiding somewhat. He still hurts pretty badly, but is not screaming in pain like he has been. We are trying to get into some sort of routine and are trying to figure out exactly how to manage all of this.  He had become so independent around here, so it was getting easier to care for both him and Ellison.  However now, I have 2 children who are completely dependent on me and both want/need me 24 hours a day. Every minute of the day, one of the children need me. He has really done remarkably well handling this. However, reality is beginning to set in now - the reality being that he can't walk - at all. We were able to get him in a wagon today to ride around the neighborhood just to get some fresh air.  Every day, he and I are outside running, chasing, riding bikes, tractors etc....., so for him to have to be still for this long is terribly challenging. Today he said, "mommy, are you sure my leg is going to be okay"?  I assured him that it would eventually be okay, but for right now, we just have to be patient and wait for God to heal him. Kind of ironic that my last post was about all of my conversations about patience with him! He has been showing alot of frustration and anger at times this week, which is all completely normal. But, it is very uncharacteristic of him and that has been really hard for me to watch. Some minutes, it's like he is not even my child, but I really can't blame him.  I would be having a hard time if it was me - but he can't verbalize or really comprehend how he feels, so all he knows to do is just get frustrated or angry.  He isn't like that all of the time, but certainly he is only human, so we are working through that. I just pray daily, even minute by minute, for great discernment with how to help him process all of this. It is a very fine line to show him grace, and also to hold him accountable for his actions/behavior.  We talk alot about pain being inevitable, but misery being optional - of course in terms that he can understand.  Our circumstances may not change, but certainly our hearts can change in the midst of circumstances.

He has already been shown so much love by so many people this week.  We have had precious friends stopping by to bring him "bed activities", games, crafts, movies, balloons etc.....   We are truly being shown the love of Christ by so many people in so many ways.

Our family has been through so much in the past several months and people are loving us well through it all.  I am ready to return the love and blessings shown to us.

God was gracious to give me a few minutes of time with Him this morning while both children were sleeping. He brought to my mind an old hymn that I have not thought about in years called, "Day by Day".   Once I read the first verse, I knew just why God brought that hymn back to my mind.  I read and sang these words this morning and they brought me so much comfort - and assurance that God is still in control and is giving me exactly what I need, day by day. 

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest. 

Happy on the changing table  (7 weeks old)

Beautiful girl (7 weeks old)

Silly boy with big, blue eyes!

Sibling love

Aunt Elliot and Ellison at the Ovarian Cancer cycle-thon

"Cycle Out Cancer" in Birmingham

Dad, riding his heart out for his daughter

And Chris, riding his heart out for his wife

Me, my sister, and my daughter - all wearing teal (color for Ovarian cancer). Even Ellison is in her teal Ergo carrier!

"Cycle-Thon"

This was taken Sunday night, after driving home from the ER in Birmingham

He wasn't feeling very good at all - Ellison was a trooper through all of this. God had His hand on her the entire day.

Just chillin' out

Breakfast in bed

We've been doing alot of this.....

and this.....

and this.

Mom taking a break from getting my house put back together to swing Ellison