Today is Christmas Eve. I, like Mary, am very "full of child". Granted she was carrying the Savior of the World, I wonder if she felt many of the same things that I am feeling. Excitement, fear, uncertainty, and humility. Bringing a child into this world, is one of the greatest privileges a woman can have I believe. I know there are many people reading this whose hearts are hurting today because they can't bear a child, it is taking longer than they want for it to happen, or have lost a child. I have been there too. It has not been an easy road for us either, which is why I am so full of humility this day...., that I was chosen to be this baby girl's mother and have been given this amazing privilege. What an amazing weekend to be in my last days or maybe weeks of pregnancy. This weekend has such great significance for so many reasons. I am trying to savor every last second - even the hard ones. I have only shed a tear or two this entire pregnancy, so I guess I am due for the flood to come now! I am 37 weeks along, but already dilated 2.5cm. I found myself in a puddle of tears this morning, for no particular reason. I just felt teary. I took myself into my bedroom, closed the door, and lay in my bed and shed a few tears. Just so many emotions right now, for so many reasons. Well, it wasn't long before I heard the door quietly open and a precious little voice saying, "Mommy, are you okay"? I assured Elijah Brooks that mommy was fine, but sometimes mommies just need to cry. The response to this was something that I never want to forget, which is why I need to write it down now. Elijah Brooks said, "Mommy, I know Jesus will help you, but I sure wish I had a rocking chair so that I could rock you".
I was so stunned by his response, and marveled at his tender and compassionate heart. We have always known that he was a nurturer and gravitates towards anyone who is crying. I just loved that he 1. trusted and believed that Jesus was going to help me, and 2. that he associates rocking with compassion and comfort.
We just sat on the bed and had the sweetest little moment together looking in each others eyes, and then he said, "Are you happy now? Want to play trucks"?
It truly was a moment that I always want to remember.
So, on this Christmas Eve, my heart is so full of humility on so many levels. I think of the angel who told Mary, "FEAR NOT". I think of the wonder, amazement, and excitement of meeting my daughter soon. I think of the wonderful privilege it is to be a mother to my amazing children. And, I think of Christ, who humbled Himself and came to US - to me - to you, to bring hope, light, peace, joy, salvation, forgiveness, and healing.
Merry Christmas, and Emmanuel, "God with US"!
(Pictures coming soon)
1 comment:
so tenderly and beautifully written. EB, as are the other two grandchildren, is a treasure beyond words. Reading him stories under the Christmas tree tonight prior to bedtime, playing trucks, and walking with him outside towards the ponds, and to see the horses this afternoon, and conversing with him as if he were 9 instead of 3, makes any sadness I feel always go away. Thank you for sharing.
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