It's been an interesting week. We just returned home a few minutes ago from our 3rd week of foster care training - my head is spinning. Too much to process at the moment. So much sadness, so much hurt, and so much need for the Gospel to change and transform lives. As I work through my own emotions in regards to this new journey we are on, I keep being bombarded by thoughts in my head saying, "Erin, you can't do this. You aren't equipped for this. This is too big for you" ; while at the very same time I am hearing, "You are right. You can't do this. You aren't equipped for this, and it is too big for you"......., BUT NOT FOR ME. You can't do this, but I can. You aren't equipped for this, but I will equip you - DO YOU TRUST ME?" Even as I wrote 3 weeks ago about my own fears and insecurities about this, I am finding that I must daily choose which voice I am going to listen to, and I do mean daily. I have a feeling that I am going to be at this crossroad alot while on this journey. I am going to do my best to update as much as I can and be as transparent as I feel comfortable being. I long for authenticity in people - I wish more people would just be honest and admit that they don't have it all together. Well, I am the first to admit that I don't have it all together and am quite anxious about this next step of our lives - though I am very excited to see how God is going to change me through all of this. I definitely need some refining in my own life.
Okay, switching gears. I had surgery. Yep, I had somewhat of an unexpected and time-sensitive (aka, emergency) surgery 6 days ago. I drove 1 1/2 hours for a 2nd opinion, thinking I was coming home right after the appointment, and wound up staying overnight for surgery the following morning. I am not sure I have ever been led more clearly by the Holy Spirit to a particular time and place before. The way the entire ordeal unfolded in a matter of hours was truly the Lord's protection of me. I am so thankful to have a God who is in every single detail of my life. I am doing fine - sore and still trying to regain my energy - but otherwise fine. I just haven't been able to pick up Elijah Brooks in 6 days which is killing me, but hopefully that's coming soon. I miss him and he misses me. He has been such a trooper through this whole ordeal and has been the most precious little nurse. He has brought me all kinds of important items while lying in bed like a truck, a sock, a spoon, some stickers, and some syrup (that was the best). He has been as patient with me as I have ever seen him and asks numerous times a day to see mommy's boo boo's. He is definitely gaining back some good "daddy time" that he has been missing recently so that's been good for both of them. I am getting stronger every day and hope to be able to pick up my sweet boy in a few more days.
Okay, I am tired. This is an abrupt ending to a somewhat random post.
Good night!
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