"Ellison....."

God continues to give me whispers of His comfort and presence in my life these days. So many times He chooses to reveal His ongoing presence in my life through my children. The month of May is always particularly sobering for me as I reflect on my sister's Homegoing...., 3 years ago this May 28th.   Ellison was just shy of 5 months old so she never had a chance to get to know the Aunt who loved her so very much. Ellison does remind us all so much of Elliot, and I do find great comfort in that. God is very kind to have given us this gift. I do not want Ellison to ever feel the pressure to be someone she is not, or feel like she has to replace her. But I do hope that as she grows, she would rejoice in the fact that she is a gift from a Loving God who created her to be exactly who she is...., but that it would be an honor for her to realize that she is so much like the wonderful woman her Aunt is. 

A few nights ago as I was tucking her in bed, she looked at my T-shirt which said, "Elliot's Warriors". She said, "Mommy, that spells my name". I explained to hear that it almost does, but told her it spelled, "Elliot". I then asked her, "do you know who Elliot is"? She said, "no" (my heart broke into a thousand pieces again). I told her that she is her Aunt and mommy's sister who lives in Heaven now. She said, "WHAT?? She should live in a house here". I started to cry, and then she put her arms around me and did something that Elliot would have done to me if I was crying to make me laugh. She stuck up her foot, grinned the biggest grin and said, "Mommy, smell my feet"!! 

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This is so characteristic of my sister....., her goal in life was to make me laugh, all the time, no matter what. She could always sense when I needed a laugh and would do something so silly.  I felt like God pulled the curtain back just alittle bit that quiet evening in her room, and gave me a glimpse of something that I have missed for nearly 3 years. I am overwhelmed that I am loved to this degree by my Father - that He would meet me where I am in my sadness and give me a little wink from above through a 3 year old child.