"35 years young"....

WHEW - 35.  Did I really just turn 35?  I am on the "other side" of 30 now - YIKES!  My birthday was yesterday and it was somewhat of an emotional roller-coaster, as most of my days seem to be of late. I was anxious about what the day would be like not having my sister to talk to, or celebrate with for the first time in 35 years. She was there when I was born, and I am quite sure she wished me a "happy birthday" in her little 2 year old voice that day. So yesterday was truly the first time that I haven't audibly heard the words, "happy birthday sweet sis' in 35 years. HARD.

My sweet family did everything they could to make sure that I had a happy day/weekend. I have really come to appreciate birthday's and life in general, in a way I have never done before. Birthday's aren't just another ordinary day, they really are special times of celebrating life. If all of life is sacred, and I believe it is, then a birthday is a sacred day. I found myself thanking God over and over again yesterday for life - it is something to be cherished. We are but a vapor, but dust, and the days are evil and fleeting as Scripture says. I cherished yesterday. Nothing monumental happened necessarily, but the day was cherished.

Wyatt and Bradford were with me for the weekend, and my sweet mom prepared a lovely meal at her home for me the night before. My grandparents also came over - how thankful I am that at age 35, I still have 2 grandparents living and my children know their great-grandparents. Such a gift - a gift not to be missed or taken for granted. I didn't have my camera with me, but all of the kids enjoyed giving me their special homemade cards, and singing "Happy Birthday" to me - and of course, eating Chocolate Chip cake!

My actual birthday this year fell on a Sunday - and for a pastor's family, Sunday's are ummmm....., busy!  Jay was preaching and I was actually singing in both the choir and on the praise team so it was a busy morning. A church-wide luncheon followed, and then home for kid's naps. It was a gorgeous, sunny day so when the kids woke up, EB wanted to give me my presents. I have blogged before about how much we have been enjoying our family bike rides....., well, Jay had my bike cleaned and gave me a "trailer" to pull behind my bike so that the kids could ride in it.  He thought Ellison would be much safer in this than on the infant bike seat behind his bike (she won't keep a helmet on, and if he ever fell off, she would fall off too), and also it is great for EB to ride with her when he gets tired of riding his own bike and just wants to rest.  Now for me, it means I am pulling nearly 70 lbs of children behind me on 2 really bad knees......, but if the squeals of delight I heard yesterday continue every time I ride, I don't care if my knees hurt!  They were absolutely having a blast riding, and I realized if I put my bike in the lowest gears, it wasn't as hard on my knees....., so WIN, WIN!  I think EB will actually ride his own bike more than he will ride behind me, so really I won't be pulling very much weight if it's just Ellison. He was just enthralled yesterday with a new "toy".  We spent about 1 1/2 hour just out enjoying our time together as a family - doing nothing but cruising around on our bikes and letting EB splash in puddles from all of the rain.  I think he kept waiting for us to tell him to stop, but we never did. We let him jump, hop, skip, run, and yes, even lie down in the puddles for as long as he wanted to. He really did keep looking up at us with a confused, but very happy look.  It was my birthday, and I was just so happy to see my family having such a good time just being together.

After a great bike ride, my parents came over to keep the kids so that Jay and I could go out to dinner - we had a great time, and great conversation. Lots of tears shed over dinner by both of us, but such a good conversation. God is at work in our lives and we both know it, and are just overflowing with thankfulness at the deeper places God is taking both of us.....,  through trials, through hardships, through frustrations, through disappointments, through happiness, through exhaustion - God is at work.

I think one of the most meaningful things though about my birthday was a card that my Mom gave to me. She had a note attached to it that said, "this is from Elliot".  I was confused and really didn't understand. She told me to read the note attached and that I would understand. So after I left her house, I went home, got the kids in bed and had some quiet moments to myself. I opened the envelope and there was a card in it that said, "Happy Birthday Sister".  It was blank and had not been signed, but it was obviously for me. Mom told me that when she was cleaning out some of Elliot's drawers a few months ago, she found this card that was meant for me. Elliot had bought me a birthday card before she went to Heaven in hopes of being able to give it to me on my birthday. I was overwhelmed that I am loved that much by my sister that she would have already thought about me, bought me a card, and had it "sitting on go", ready to give to me. As I read the words, I realized that she had truly hand-picked it for me, for such a time as this. She bought it when she was sick and just held onto it - this card is now one of my most treasured possessions. As I read it, I wept loudly - Jay heard me from the other room and came to check on me, and we just held each other crying as we read it over and over and over again.  That is my sister - always thinking about others, even during her sickness. She was thinking about me and my birthday probably at least 10 months prior to yesterday, maybe longer than that.

So, while I didn't get her hear her voice audibly yesterday, I heard her heart loud and clear wishing me a "happy birthday".

Oh yes, new bike helmet too from EB.  He insisted that I wear it even though I was riding unbelievably slow pulling 70lbs behind me!   Have to set a good example though :) 

I haven't posted many pictures of this big girl lately due to so many Disney posts. She is getting SO BIG! 

Just look at this grin!  This is  the "Ellison smile".  Classic! 

As he was riding next to Ellison, he kept singing, "you're my best friend Ellison, you're my very best friend", over and over and over again.  And they are truly best friends.  Elliot, you were right.