"Cousin time"...

We have enjoyed getting to spend a good bit of time lately with Wyatt and Bradford - wish more than anything in this world that the frequent visits were under different circumstances, but we are so thankful to be seeing them often. The kids have always been close, but now that they are sharing in each other's pain and sorrow, their bond has deepened even more. They are leaning on each other for support in ways that I do not even have words to express. The conversations that are had by these 3 will leave anyone speechless, and in awe at what is really going on in the deep recesses of their precious hearts. The conversations will break even the hardest of hearts, but it is so good for them to talk - and we encourage them to do so. They see us cry, and that's okay. They are seeing us be authentic and vulnerable, and in doing so, it gives them permission to do the same which is part of healing. So many people keep telling me just to keep the kids around me as a "distraction" - I hear that alot. Having the kids with me is anything but a distraction from the reality of what we are facing. In fact, their presence is a constant reminder of what our family has lost - they talk about Elliot all of the time, and they want to talk about her. They ask us questions, and we answer honestly. They are wise beyond their years - all 3 of them - and so when they ask, we answer - they want to know the truth about everything. They are not afraid to talk about Elliot - why are so many adults?  They are not afraid to ask questions? Why are the adults? They are not afraid to grieve openly and express themselves - why do so many adults hide?  I am trying to ask myself these questions even as I type. I suppose it's just another reason why Jesus tells us to live like "little children". Little children are far wiser than we give them credit for. They can often times see straight through the facade that so many adults put on. They can see beyond the masks that we all wear daily. I pray daily that God will protect these precious children's hearts, as He continues to mold and shape them into the people they were created to be, despite the tragedy that has come upon them. God is working, and "He who started a good work in you (them), will be faithful to complete it".

Wyatt was doing a school project where "Leo the Lion" was supposed to go everywhere with him all weekend. He brought a suitcase of about 20 changes of clothes for Leo and then we had to write in his journal at the end of our weekend everything that Leo and Wyatt did together. Here, Leo is wearing "camo's", while we went for a walk in the woods. 

Elliot's symbol, the "Butterfly". I was captivated by this marvelous creature. 

My little big boy :)  

What's a walk in the woods if you can't stand in a muddy creek and throw rocks? 

Boys doing "boy things" 

And, my little big boy holding a very large machete  - little scary Daddy! 

Wish I had a picture of me and my sister at this age I could post here. This picture is a "little Elliot", and a "little Erin". Elliot would love this picture. 

Leo did a little fishing too 

Ellison enjoying some special E-daddy time 

Wyatt with his great-grandfather. What a blessed heritage. 

One of the catches of the day 

Both in their own little world.  I will say, patience with fishing is hard to come by! 

Leo also went to church! 

And here are the silly bobsy twins!  "But they're cousins, identical cousins, you and me".  (Yes, that is a real song and probably the only other person in the world that knows this song is my cousin Lauren)!  

Precious, precious

Hanging out at the zoo 

The new sky lift at our zoo 

Riding with Uncle Jay 

Beautiful Bradford, posing in a tree 

This was the sky one night over the weekend. This was the night that Bradford was swinging in my backyard. She ask me to give her a push and then she wanted to swing by herself. I pushed her once, and then she started furiously pumping her little 4 year old year legs and hard as she could, propelling herself higher and higher into the sky saying, "Hi Mommy, I am coming to get you - here I come, I am swinging higher and higher and am about to get to you".  I stood there watching this conversation happen between my niece and her mommy in Heaven.  It's all just so unbelievable still - and I think it will be forever.