"Elijah Brooks' thoughts about his Aunt"....

Elijah Brooks and his beloved Aunt Elliot had a very special relationship. She loved him deeply, and he knew it. He loved her just as deeply, and she knew it too. From the moment Elliot found out that we were expecting him, she was involved in his life. She celebrated every victory and mourned every loss with him. Nothing was too small to be celebrated. She loved him not just with words, but with actions. She made every effort to know what was going on in his life. He could expect daily phone conversations with her and he was always eager to run to the mailbox to see what "happy" she sent to him. She was a part of his daily life, even though she didn't see him daily. She was still involved every day and was a part of his daily routine. He knew her love for him was not bound by distance - her love was unconditional and ran so deep, and no amount of time or distance could ever change that.

When Elliot was taken to her new home in Heaven, I knew Elijah Brooks was going to be deeply affected. He has always been a very verbal child, so it made sense to us the way he began showing his grief - he began talking about her, alot. He is grieving her so deeply, but fortunately continues to be verbal about his thoughts and his feelings which is a healthy way for him to grieve, and it allows us to get a glimpse inside of his little heart and mind. These children are dealing with issues that even the adults cannot comprehend, but they are all grieving in their own way.

As Elijah Brooks continues to grieve and try to process what has happened to his Aunt and to our family, he continues to talk about it. I began writing down some of the things he was saying so that I could remember through the years, and also so that he would know the amazing relationship that he and his Aunt Elliot shared. I will add to this list as the months go by, but here are some of his thoughts from the past 3 months.

Thoughts by Elijah Brooks age 3

June 2012
Elijah Brooks was found lying in the backyard looking up at the sky praying to God. I overheard this conversation:
"Dear God, it's me, Elijah Brooks.  I just really miss my Aunt so much and I pray that you would please send her back down from Heaven so she can play with me. Thank you, Amen".

"I need her Mommy. I just really need her".

"I miss her so much Mommy".

July 2012 
"I am just so sad tonight Mommy. My heart is just so sad".

While we were watching a storm from the window, he was so concerned and said, "Aunt Elliot is up in those clouds somewhere".

"I miss her playing games with me, but I really miss her telling me how much she loves me".

"I am so glad that Aunt Elliot can go swimming with us!  Oh no, wait, Aunt Elliot is in Heaven and can't come swimming".

August 2012 
"Look Mommy! There's Aunt Elliot's cross in the sky"!

We were in the garage getting ready to get in the car and Elijah Brooks looked at the ladder and said, "Mommy, I'll get that ladder for you".  When I asked him why I needed the ladder he said, "So you can climb up and get to Aunt Elliot".

"Dear Jesus, please bring my Aunt back to me"

One Sunday morning, we were dressed for church and about to get in the car. He said that he forgot something inside and asked if he could go back and get it. I let him go back inside and he came out wearing the medal he received for walking in the "Motherwalk" event for Ovarian Cancer. He said he wanted to wear it to church - and he did wear it so proudly.  He told everyone at church that he was wearing it for his Aunt.

"Mommy, will Aunt Elliot have her brown hair again in Heaven"?

"Mommy, I want to listen to Handel's Water Music. It will make my heart feel better".  

On another day, he wanted to pick out his own clothes. This particular day we were going to be running errands around town, but he wanted to wear his "Walk Out Cancer with Elliot" t-shirt. His shirt was huge and came down to his ankles. I encouraged him to choose a smaller shirt since we were going to be around town and then he could wear that shirt when he got home. He insisted on wearing his t-shirt saying, "Mommy, it just makes me feel close to her".   He wore his t-shirt all day long.

September 2012 
"Aunt Elliot was talking to me today in my room while I read books".

While riding in the car one afternoon, I heard him making stretching sounds in the backseat. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw him stretching his arms up to the ceiling. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I am stretching up trying to reach Aunt Elliot, but I'm not tall enough. I need to be taller Mommy" - me too baby - and he kept stretching. 

Elliot and Elijah Brooks, Charlotte, NC the day he was born - November 7, 2008

Elliot and Elijah Brooks - December 2011