"Still Around...."

I feel like I need to write something, although truthfully, I don't feel all that inspired tonight.  I am drained - physically and emotionally.  Not necessarily in a bad way, though it sounds like it, but more in a "I'm just so tired" tonight way.  The past month has been full so many different emotions, such a myriad, and honestly, some just so complex I still don't know how to process them. Some of my processing just needs to remain in my own heart and mind, and not on a public blog anyway.

My dearest grandmother passed from this earth into Glory just recently. I spent the final 6 days of her life, and even hours before her death, at her bedside - stroking her hair, moistening her mouth, rubbing her face, holding her hand, praying in her ear, singing familiar hymns that she loved, reading Scripture aloud to her, and just sitting on her bed with her trying to offer some sort of comfort to her as she walked through the valley of the shadow of death.  I believe that she feared nothing in those final days, as she was ready to meet her Savior face to face. She had nothing to fear, as she lived a life that we should all strive to live - a life completely "sold out" to Christ.  She was a beautiful picture of Christ to her family and all who had the privilege of knowing her. She surrendered herself to Christ her entire life, and even in her final days and hours, she continued to submit to His plan for her life and for her death.  Her life, and her death, are a testimony to me and my family and her legacy will live on. We all miss her greatly, but hold tight to the promise that we will be reunited with her in Glory one day. Elijah Brooks was able to minister to her and to our family in his own tender way as well. A few days before her death, he walked up to her bed and touched her arm and said, "It's okay Grandmomma. You don't have to worry or be afraid".  And then on several occasions he was overheard singing, "All night, all day, angels watching over Grandmomma".

My dearest husband has been traveling alot this month, and so we have been apart for the better part of the month.  I know for military wives and wives whose husbands travel on business regularly this is not a big deal, but we simply are not accustomed to being apart for this long and it's just been a tough month. We miss each other - alot.  In fact, he boarded a plane just this morning to a mission trip to Haiti.  I tell you though, I am so incredibly blessed to be married to this man.  He, very much like my grandmother, is completely "sold out" to Christ.  He inspires me daily, and I don't tell him that nearly enough.

Elijah Brooks is 3 months shy of turning 3.  I can't even begin to process that one!  While Daddy has been away, he has certainly had his fair share of "mommy time" - as if he doesn't have enough of that already since I am home with him ALL-THE-TIME!  But one day, he won't want to play with me anymore and I won't be nearly as "cool" as he thinks I am now, so I get my pregnant self down on the floor and play :)   He keeps me laughing all the time, and sometimes crying, and I wouldn't trade a second of this time with him for anything in this entire world.  I mean that. Even on nights like this where I am just so tired I can't see straight. Wouldn't trade a thing.

Let's see, "little baby Joye" is 15 weeks in-utero right now, and starting to wiggle and thump around where I can finally feel it.  I absolutely LOVE this feeling. What an honor and privilege to carry a child. I do not take this for granted.  Even the days that I feel bad, I pray that God helps me keep that perspective. None of our children have come easy. After years of struggling to have children, and praying that God shower down His blessing upon us, I just find myself so thankful that He heard our cry and was gracious. We should find out in about a month where we will have a boy or a girl.  It matters not to me - all I want is a healthy baby, and so we pray towards that end. I experienced such complex emotions with this pregnancy and my grandmother's death. I just kept thinking about the circle of life, and how amazing it is. We are all born, and we all die.  Someone sent me a card in the mail after the funeral that was about the "dash" between the year of your birth and the year of your death. The gist of the card was that those beginning and ending years were not was mattered the most, but the tiny little "dash" in between them, for that was representing how you lived your life. I hadn't really thought about it in those terms until I looked at my grandmother's birth year written out, separated by a "dash", and then her death year.  Even though that "dash" was tiny, those 86 years of life were lived BIG and full.  During the funeral, I also felt a "thump" in my belly and I thought of how God was blessing me with new life within, and at the same time blessing Grandmom with new life as well.

We did manage to slip in a quick trip to the Coast of South Carolina to visit Jay's family for a few days. We really weren't sure how we were going to make it happen with this month's busyness and Jay's travel schedule, but family is always priority and we were thankful that God provided a small window of opportunity for us to visit. It is about a 9 hour drive for us, so it's just not a trip that we can make often unfortunately. We do wish we could see his family more than we do. We were able to get schedules to align briefly so that we were able to see his sister and her family as well. They also have a very long drive, so it definitely makes getting together often or even semi-often pretty tricky.  God was gracious and provided us a few days right after my grandmother's funeral.  We had just had alot of family time on my side of the family, so I felt that even under the circumstances, it was okay for me to leave them.  We had a very nice visit and some good quality time with his family.

So while this blog entry isn't exactly "inspirational", it at least catches you up on our lives. 

I stole this picture off of my cousin's blog, so I think that's why it's alittle blurry.  But, my grandmother would have absolutely LOVED this picture. She and my grandfather had 4 granddaughters. We all married Godly men, largely due to the their constant prayers for us. We all have beautiful, loving children by God's grace. This picture is such a wonderful representation of God's faithfulness to the next generation and how the fervent prayers of a mother and father can having lasting impact on a family.

Cousin Parker reading to EB before bed at Gammy's house

This was one happy little boy, sitting on the 4-wheeler with his Daddy

Cousins Makenzie (11), Elijah Brooks (2 1/2), and Parker (8)

Choosing a heart at "Build a Bear" workshop

Giving his bear a bath

And of course, bathing him.  Elijah Brooks was incredibly meticulous about bathing this bear. He took the utmost care of his bear while bathing him. I hope he will be as gentle with his new brother or sister!  Doubtful :)

And of course, his bear had to be "Buzz Lightyear".

I really wasn't sure how this first amusement park ride was going to go. Although, clearly, I was the one more anxious than he was. He hopped right in that plane and took off - squealing with delight the whole ride.  I think he may have his Daddy's love for rides.  Definitely did not get that from his mom.  I hate them!!

Wish this picture actually showed how big his smile was!

And, the 1st feriss wheel. He did great - just hung out and watched the world go around.

My left-handed boy! Jay says left-handed kids make good pitchers.  We'll see.  All I know is that I am having to get used to this whole left-handed thing! It's been kind of tricky for me.

The boy can flat run - fast.  He did alot of running on our quick trip.

Mainly running after this adorable little ball of fur!  This is "Bear" - sweetest dog in the world. I enjoyed meeting him for the first time too.  He loved to sit in my lap at night, and didn't bother a soul.